Dear Legacy… What You Accept, What You Build, What You Live | Ep. 10

In this episode of Dear Legacy, Kevin B. the Brand breaks down a truth that most people avoid but everyone needs to face:

Your life is a direct reflection of what you accept, what you repeat, and how you show up every single day.

This isn’t about motivation it’s about awareness.

Kevin walks through the real foundation of legacy building, starting with self-awareness and moving through standards, habits, environment, relationships, and communication. He challenges you to stop focusing on the version of life you say you want and start being honest about the life you’re actually living.

From the standards you tolerate, to the habits you repeat, to the people you keep around you everything is shaping your identity in real time.

This episode dives into:

• Why your standards not your goals determine your outcomes
• How your daily habits are quietly building (or breaking) your identity
• The impact your circle and environment have on your growth
• Why what you tolerate becomes permanent
• The importance of alignment and communication when building with others

Kevin also challenges you with real reflection questions that force you to look inward:

• Does your daily life actually reflect what you say you want?
• Are the people around you helping you grow or keeping you comfortable?
• What have you been accepting that no longer aligns with who you’re becoming?

Because at the end of the day…

Legacy isn’t built in big moments.
It’s built in how you live every single day.

This episode is for anyone who’s ready to stop coasting, start paying attention, and take control of the life they’re building in real time.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH / LISTEN

If you’ve been feeling stuck… misaligned… or like your life isn’t matching your vision this episode is for you.

This conversation will help you:

• Get honest about the gap between your goals and your reality
• Identify the patterns, habits, and environments holding you back
• Raise your standards and expectations for yourself
• Understand how your circle and communication impact your growth
• Start making intentional adjustments immediately

This isn’t about starting over.

It’s about becoming aware…
so you can build better on purpose.

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – Introduction to Legacy and Intentional Living
06:09 – Setting Standards and Accepting Compromises
12:03 – Daily Habits and Their Impact on Identity
26:56 – Challenging Comfort Zones for Growth
32:20 – The Impact of Your Circle
39:06 – Setting Boundaries and Standards
45:58 – Building with the Right People
56:09 – Communication and Alignment in Relationships

If this episode gave you something to think about, subscribe to Dear Legacy, drop a comment, follow us on social media, and share it with someone building their legacy in real time.

Till then Go Define it, Go Build it, Live it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Your daily life tells the truth, even when your words won't. So you could you could think that you're lying to somebody, but you're only really lying to yourself. Because your daily life is going to tell you the truth. Even when your words won't. And this is another episode of Dear Legacy. Episode 10, y'all. We finally made it to double digits. And if this is the first time you're here, guys, this is not just a podcast. I say it all the time. This is an open letter to ourselves, to who we've been and who we're becoming along the way, right? The goal is simple. It's to slow down, to think, to reflect, and to move through life with intention. Because legacy isn't something that we're leaving behind. It's something that we're living every single day on this journey, right? And that's what the space is for. The space is for us to slow things down a little bit and really think about the life we're living and how we're living it. Because a lot of us, a lot of us sometimes we're moving every day, but working and building and showing up. I'm sorry guys, my allergies is acting up. Can't stop my eyes from watering. So if it looks like I'm crying, it's not me being emotional. It's it's my allergies. They're acting up. As cold as it is outside up here in New England, my allergies are still acting up. But I digress uh because I want to make sure that we understand that this isn't just another podcast. It's a journey that we're taking together. And we're we're moving through life every day, working, building, showing up, doing what we're supposed to do in this thing called life, right? But we don't always stop to ask ourselves simple little questions, right? Am I living the life that I actually say that I want? Is it uh the things that I'm doing every day, is it aligning with the things that I say I want this life to be, right? And sometimes if you we we've like I said, this is episode 10, we've done two volume recaps, and we just keep talking about certain things that whether it's something that I'm going through or something that I heard somebody else going through, I I take it back to this microphone, right? Because in life, sometimes I think we don't sit, we don't really talk the things out loud. We we we show people the end results, but not the the middle, the beginning, right? And this is this journey is about slowing down to make sure that not only we're we're doing what we say that we're trying to get to X, whatever X is, from my nine to five is the promotion, if we're in school, it's the graduation, if entrepreneur is building something, uh it's the parenting, it's it's so much everything that's evolved in this this journey of life. And we we bring it back to you guys, right? I know I've been promising you guys guests. I'm lining them up. I'm lining them up. I I promise you guys, it's not just gonna be me. I want you guys to hear from other people that are doing it also, because I'm not doing everything that you might be wanting to do. So I'm gonna be bringing people on and seeing how we're doing this journey of life together. Not just what we're working towards, but actually accepting along the way. Because the truth is, most of us don't end up where we're at by accident. We end up where we're at based off of the things that we allow. How the things that we keep repeating in our everyday lives and what we actually commit to. Even if we're not thinking about it, and when we're really breaking that down, it starts to point out a few things when we're on this. Who we're actually becoming along the way while we're doing this journey, right? The people in the environment that that were that surrounds us, that's around that we put ourselves into, because some of these things we actually put ourselves into, right? It's not it's not something that, like I said, it doesn't happen by accident. This this is this is by by pompous circumstance, this is where life puts you at, or you chose to be in this situation, and how you're actually building your life with intention. It does matter by the things that you surround yourself with. And that's what we're gonna be talking about today. And if I'm being honest, sometimes we say we want one thing, but our daily life is showing something completely different. We say we want growth, but we stay in the same environments. We say we want better, but we tolerate and do the same patterns. We say we want to be building something meaningful, but we're not always moving like it. And that's not judgment, that's that's for me also. If if you're if you're taking this journey with me, if you follow me on social media and the thought of the days and all this, I'm part of the problem also. And this is why I'm going to put myself out there to tell you like, this is where I'm falling short. This is what I'm noticing in my everyday life as I'm on this journey. So if I'm going through it, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. I'm the one lone weirdo by myself out here on this island. This is more about awareness. It's no judgment ever. Because once you start paying attention to what you accept, what's around you, and how you're actually showing up every day, you start to see something that everything is interconnected with itself. That's how we're becoming who we are now. The people that we're keeping around us and what they're bringing to our lives. This thing is being built in real time. Every day you're waking up and building towards this thing. Leads me to what we're gonna be talking about today. Not just what you want, but what life actually is reflecting. Because at some point, you gotta stop looking at the future version of your life and start being honest with the current version of how you're living. Before we get into anything else, I want to start with something like that. Sit in the foundation of all this. Who we're becoming. Because before you look at your circle, before you look at what you're building, you've got to take a real look at yourself. We've we've we've been talking about this stuff over the past few episodes. It starts with you, your standards, your habits, your mindset. I have I'm I'm I remember vividly, I was just talking to somebody because we were in a group chat, and then something happened in a group chat, and we privately started talking about it. Yes, people, it does happen. Just because it happened in a group chat, there's there's somebody else having a sidebar conversation uh about what just happened in a group chat. But um it was it was something, and I don't want to divulge the story because the people know exactly who I'm talking about. But um somebody dropped something in a group chat, and it was meant to be motivational, but other people didn't take it like that. They took it as, well, you have the means to do this, so you're just kind of rubbing it in. But I looked at it as like, damn, that's kind of dope. I would love to be there, or I that that's what I'm actually striving for, you know what I mean? Or is it has nothing to do with what's aligning with my vision and my journey, right? But the mindset thing of certain people, it's like, why did you take it as a negative as opposed to the person within your circle? They're there to motivate you, you were assuming, but then I started realize like, oh, this thing is a mindset thing. This this anything that we're chasing after, no matter what, the difference of most people making it and others not not making it, not all the time. Sometimes life is just life, and and it just wasn't meant for you, or you're just not designed for whatever it is that you're chasing. But your mindset plays a massive part. You know, people say all the time, you gotta talk what you want into existence. Does that always mean if if I say I want a million dollars and at some point I'm gonna get a million dollars? No, you probably in your lifetime has passed through a million dollars without you even realizing it. But your mindset dictates how you're going to move. Right, wrong, or indifferent. Again, life is going to put you into in certain circumstances that you're just mindset isn't just gonna be enough. I'm not gonna lie to you. Because when you have certain things that's piled up on you and you're trying to dig out, sometimes you're just gonna keep digging. It's unfortunate. That's that's just how life is. But if your mindset is right, no matter how daunting it may be, you'll get through it. It's all about the standards that you're gonna accept. So let's start there. Something that shapes us more than we even realize in life is a standard that we accept. Because whether we realize it or not, everything in our life right now is connected to a standard. Whether you set the standard or somebody else set the standard for you, I would like to believe that you should set your own standard. Because when you set the standard, you're not gonna accept anything and everything. If you know what it is that you're trying to go to, if you know what you're trying to work towards, you're you're gonna set the standard that's best suited for you. And then you adjust from there. Now, I'm not saying you're gonna set your standard and you're gonna go into your job tomorrow and tell these people this is what it's gonna be because this aligns with my standard. Um, they have their standards. You chose to fit into their standards, which is fine. If that's the career path that you're going on, on my nine of fives and all, play within their standards, but make sure it aligns with yours. We can't sit around and tolerate certain things, but then be mad about it later on. See what the notes are saying. But in in saying the notes, I started to think about some of us have to tolerate certain things, but there's some things you don't have to tolerate. Because if you set your standard already and you you from the beginning defined defined what what what legacy is to you, and you're building it in real time and living it, then that standard that you set, at some point you have to see and tell yourself, like, all right, this is not aligning with what I'm trying to get to. This is somebody else's alignment. I know I can't leave this job right now. See, that's a problem. Some of us are stuck in certain situations, whether it be financially, whether it be because it's what we're supposed to do, because that's the next thing to do. You can remove yourself from a situation, but you got to have a plan. Everything is about a plan. If you plan it out right, it might take you five years to get out of that situation. It might take you 90 days. But you have to come up with a plan because that's what your standards dictate for yourself. You said that this is what I want in my life, this is what I'm gonna chase after. So this is what the standard gotta be now. Because this is the end result that I want. This is how I'm live living my legacy in real time. It's a 20, 30, 40-year play. It's not a two-year play. It might take two years to get out of one thing to get to set you up. That thing that you're in right now, it could be just you're there for a stepping stone to get to that next level that you want to get to. Small compromises that you do right now, it don't stay so small. Because you're gonna keep compromising and chipping away at that standard of yours. Then you start normalizing something that you know, you feel it on the inside of you that this is not, this is not aligned with my standard. What you overlook today becomes part of your life tomorrow. And then that that could be your forever pattern. Standards are gonna be shown through your behavior, not through your words. You set your own standards. And if I'm being real on myself, some of the things that's in my life right now, I I know I'm accepting it. I'm accepting it because somehow, somehow, it's aligning with what I'm trying to do. Does everything align with it? No. It's some things that I'm an adult, and and you you got big bills, you got people relying on you. So you have to like, these are the small compromises that I'm willing to put up with in order to get to where I say I want to get to. That's that's the part of when you're setting your standards as well. It's knowing and be and willing to take certain compromises in order to get to the end result that you want. So, do I accept certain things that don't align with my standards? Of course. We're human. We got bills, we're adults. For those of us that are that are ripe out of college trying to figure it out, these are the early years where you start setting your standards. But you gotta go through life, also. I didn't know what my standards were at 22. Those of us that could figure it out that early, cool. It took me years to figure out what it is that uh my what my definition of it is, how am I gonna show up, what's my standards, what I'm willing to compromise, what I'm willing to tolerate, and then also having a wherewithal to know to sit back like, uh oh, I'm going in a different direction here. It's I feel as though I'm about to get put myself in a situation where I'm gonna be stuck, not trying to get stuck here. This is the stuff that we got to sit and reflect on. You don't rise to what you want, you fall into what you accept. And once you start looking at your life through that lens, it forces a different kind of honesty. Because now it's not just about what you say you want, it's about your life you're actually showing. And that brings us into this the life that we're actually living. Because there's a difference between the life that you talk about and the life that you're living every single day. Right? Every day that you wake up, there's there's there's the reality of life, and it is the intentional movements while you're in life, right? The reality of life is the things that you go through, the things that it is what it is. Like, like I said, when you're you're an adult with responsibilities, you have bills, you have this, you have that. Life is just gonna keep throwing stuff. But then there's the intentionality of certain things. How am I gonna craft my day? What am I going to do to win and put me on path to get into where I'm trying to get to? Looking at the journal and be like, all right, these are the goals that I'm trying to get. These are the three mains, these are the subs. How am I blocking out my day to achieve these things? Where in my calendar do I see some pitfalls? Because I gotta go and do this part in order to, you know, take care of my responsibilities, but at the same time, now I gotta get to the discipline part. Because I got I gotta get to my goals. Because I already set the standards, I I I defined it, I know where I'm trying to get to. This is a stepping stone, or this doesn't align right now, but it's a means to an end. Even with that line, means to an end. I think a lot of us we use that line and trap ourselves. It's a means to an end. When's the end? When's the actual end? Did you say, did you put that down in when you was developing your goals and you said, I want to do X, Y, and Z to get to this thing, this dream and vision that I'm chasing. But along the way, did we write in there the means to the ends part? And then when you wrote means to an end, what is the end? Your daily habits are going to reflect every everything that you do in life 20 years down the line, down the line, the things that you're doing right now in your daily habits is going to affect that. What is the end to the means to the end? Uh is the end like you're just gonna keep doing this to until until we we go meet Omega. The gap between your goals and your actions is is very large sometimes. And when you say lines like it's just a means to an end, I'm using this as a stepping stone. Okay, but uh did you put that in your plan? This is a means to an end because I have to do this because I have responsibilities, but I'm gonna do this along the way to make sure in five years I can that's my end to the means to the end, and I can move on. What is your routine actually producing for your life to get to that next step? When when when you're crafting your root, your daily routines, are you waking up in a panic and then just running out? Because that's not a daily routine. You're just going with emotions at that point. You're not producing. If somebody was to look at your life right now, would they believe in what they say that you're building? I mean, if if I was to ask and be truthful and ask myself this right now, I would say some would say yes and some would say no. Because you got some people that believe that you're supposed to dive all the way in. Head first. Well, I'm not trying to get concussions, y'all. I ain't going head first. I'm gonna look. Uh if I'm on that, imagine you're on that diving board and somebody's like, you gotta go head first. Wait, no. That looks crazy. Why why can't I just go feet first? Put my arms across my chest, jump when I'm ready to jump. So I could get to where I'm getting to. Because when I go head first and I knock myself out and I'm I'm dealing with concussions, what does that do for anybody? Now I'm not even that square one. I'm at a different, I'm on a different path just to go around and get get back up to the to the ladder, to the to the dive, top of the diving board so I could jump again. We just wasted a lot of time. That daily routine was not helping me. But I know what I'm trying to build right now, and my day-to-day life is is yeah. My day-to-day life is building towards what I'm trying to do. There's things that I'm putting, I'm being more intentional now. And I think that's why I said some would say yes and some would say no. Because some are seeing the intentionality of how I'm moving now. Some would see that the differences of what I'm doing on my day-to-day or my 90 days. You see differences. You see me leaning in more in certain in circumstances, certain circumstances because it's aligning with the standards that I've set. And it's going to put me on the path to get into where I'm trying to get to. Your daily life tells the truth, even when your words won't. So you could you could think that you're lying to somebody, but you're only really lying to yourself. Because your daily life is going to tell you the truth. Even when your words won't. And once you really start to pay attention to that, you start to see something else about yourself. It's not just what we're doing, it's what we're reinforcing at the same time. And then it leads into something even deeper sometimes. The identity you're building through your actions. Because every action you repeat is reinforcing something about who you are. Your actions are shaping your identity day in and day out. Your integrity is being tested, your identity is being shaped every day. The actions that you're doing, the way you show up, the routines that you're doing, the habits that you're putting in, your mindset. Your mindset on how you're looking at things through life. Are you a Debbie Downer in every situation? Now, granted, life is gonna punch you in the goddamn mouth sometimes, and you just be a little you, I do it. I'll be like, man, I can't, I can't. These body blows, maybe maybe I'm on the wrong pathway and all this other stuff. But you you see what it is right there? We have a plan. And if we know life is going to be chaotic anyways, why let the situation beat us? I know we're human getting off, get we can get our big feels, but we have to catch we have to check those emotions sometimes. Because we're realists, right? And we know life is gonna throw stuff at us. We know it's not gonna be easy. It's a chase, it's a marathon. If every time something goes wrong, we go into our Debbie Downer mode, that starts to shape your identity, it's gonna knock you off your path. And I don't think you're gonna recover from it because your mindset, like I said earlier, at the top of the show, it it dictates a lot of things, and and then when going back to that chat. Room conversation, you start to realize why some people move the way they do when they look at things the way they look at it. You have five people in a chat room, two people see it one way, three people see it another. Other two are aligned, and one is just on an island by themselves. It's the same exact thing, but because mindsets are different, one one, two are looking at motivationally, two are looking at like you're just you're just trying to show off because da-da-da. Another person's on an island by himself, two think that they'll never be able to attain something like that. But my whole thing is what makes you think you can't obtain it? I might just be Dululu and think that I could do it, but guess what? If I aim for that and fall short, I won. We've talked about this. If I aim for the highest point and I fall short, isn't it better than staying at the lowest point in the mindset that you were already at?

SPEAKER_00 22:54

That's still a better version of you.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

We it and and and shifting off to the mindset stuff, it's all about how we consistently show up as we shaping this identity of ours. Because consistency is gonna build a self-image of you. How people see you and how you see you. Because when you stay consistent and you're rolling with this ball and it becomes a way of life, it's second nature. When I was in the military, they would we would do training, we would do these battle, battle drills, nonstop, nonstop, nonstop, nonstop. You know why you do these things consistently and you stop and you refine it like, no, this is what you want to do. Because when the real thing happens, you done did it so much that your mind, your body just takes over. You don't even think about it anymore. And that's what that's what your daily habits and routines are doing for you right now. You there's certain things you just go with the motion. There's this times where I know I'm I'm supposed to be going in a certain direction. I go into autopilot mode and I see that I'm somewhere that I'm not supposed to be. I was like, oh damn, I'm not supposed to be going this because it's a routine, it's habits that's building uh what we do. We're consistently doing the same exact thing. So our body, our minds, and everything's gonna keep going. So, what if you change a couple of things? Create a new habit, create new mindsets, but you have to have that internal dialogue with yourself to know that, okay, this is what I want to do. This is my standards. I uh I'm gonna consistently show up this way while I'm on this thing. The means to an end, this is the date that is gonna stop right here. So, what am I gonna do consistently to set myself up to cross that finish line for the means to the end and go into a different part of life now? Our habits are gonna are gonna confirm our beliefs. The stuff that we're doing on a day-to-day basis that become normalized to us while we're building this thing, while we're still uh that that's aligned with our standards, it's gonna change your beliefs. Once your beliefs change, your mindset's gonna be right right along with it. You believe that you're going to make it to that to that end result, that goal that you're chasing. Based on how you've been showing up lately, who are you actually becoming right now? The way that you show up, who are you becoming right now? Are you becoming that version of you that you need to be for this journey? That's what you gotta ask yourself. I I would say in 2026, I started becoming that version of me. I'm working towards that version of me that I need to show up for so I could go on this journey. You don't become who you say you are, you become what you consistently do. And once you're in who you're becoming, you start to realize something very important. You're not doing this in isolation. It's people around you. The environment that you're in, they play a way bigger role than you actually think. So let's shift to that for a quick second. We we talk about the us, and and but we we we're when we I don't think we focused on the relationships and the growths that we we've we're we're doing along the way. Because who's around you and who you're around and what you're exposed to every day, that has a direct impact on what you think, how you move, and how you even grow. Because the people around you, whether you like it or not, those people influence you, right, wrong, or indifferent. Your thought process, your mindset, goals that you want to set. I'm telling you right now, the people that's around me, some of them set the bar so damn high, it's like I feel like I'm always chasing, but it's okay. Because it motivates me. That's why they're in my circle. You don't, you don't, you, you, you would like to believe like if you look and take a hard look at the people that you're around, how they're moving, how they interact, what's their mindset? Do they want more, or are they okay with the standards? And and there's no knock. You're not knocking the people in your circle by doing this, you're just taking an evaluation. Remember, I said everybody is a brand CEO, right? You're you're a CEO of your own burn, of your own personal brand. If major Fortune 500 companies sit back and they look at all their employees, what they got millions or 10, you have to evaluate the employees, right? Why you evaluate them because you trying to see does it still align with the company's standards? You see how it goes back to standards? Are they fulfilling what the company needs? So why are we not doing that in our personal brands, in our personal lives? The person that you knew in high school, are they still aligned with what you're trying to do? Why are they around? Out of sure loyalty. I'm not saying just cut the person off and don't be friends with these people no more. You're friends for a reason. It lasted for all these years for a reason, right? But maybe sometimes on this journey and this pathway, you have to separate yourself a little bit. Because conversations that you're having is going to shape how you start thinking. This is why social media is such an amazing thing and such a dangerous thing at the same time. Because you find a lot of people that think a lot like you. Right? They're not challenging you. I like, I like how they think right here. These are my people. And then we stop talking to the other people to challenge us because we want to stay comfortable in our thought processes. This aligns more with what I want in my life, so that's what I'm gonna listen to. But I can learn something from these the other side. I can learn something from from this people over here. It's a mindset thing. I'm not saying you have to bring those people into your circle. Your circle is your circle. They influence your close, your close relationships. But when you're trying to grow, you gotta come out of comfort sometimes. And coming out of comfort sometimes means you have to step away from what you what your everyday norms are, what you're used to. It's not a bad thing. It's just it doesn't align with my standards right now. You're still a great person. I still want to hang out with you, but I'm on a journey right now. And right now I'm chasing this thing right here, and I want it so bad that I'm I'm journaling it, and on this next 90-day, 100-day, two years, five years, that's the journey that I'm gonna be on. You should come along with me. But if not, you have your vision, I have my vision. Your energy, the people that brings it. Let's let's take it back to that chat room. That energy could have derailed a lot of people by one person saying, like, oh my god, you're just doing this for for to rub it in because you're of this level and this status, so you could do it, and you know we're not there. That could bleed into the rest of the people in that chat room. And now they're probably saying that's like, damn, yeah, that he is trying to do this, and and that person's trying to do that. And and now their energy is all messed up. And they was looking at it and probably motivationally also, like, yo, why can't I do that? That's somebody within my circle. I could touch him, I could, I could reach out to him and find out, like, hey, how did you get here? But some of us, we still in our comfort zone with our with our with our with our circles, and a lot of us keep a uh uh our yes people around us. We're doing great. Are we? Are you doing great? You know what I mean? Like, really think about it. This is the great, and we're okay with this, and that's fine. Just I just want you to be known to know what greatness to you is. Whatever it is, if you feel as though that's your greatness, by all means, I'm I'm all I'm with you. But what you know what you know, energy, comfort, growth, your circle, man, they play a huge part on this journey with you. You gotta sit there and ask yourself, are the people around you pushing you to grow? Or are they helping you stay comfortable? I said this line before. Your circle will either stretch you or settle you. They're gonna stretch you by meaning like they're gonna keep pushing you, they're gonna keep pushing you, and they're gonna stretch you so thin because they want greatness out of you. Or they're gonna settle you. They're gonna tell you, oh, you you done great. Pat on the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sit right here. Come on now. You don't don't go, don't go for that next level. What you mean? You go to that next level, you're gonna leave me behind. Because I'm too scared to do it. I'm too afraid to do it. Can't be like that, man. And it's not just people, it's also what surrounds us every day. Because our environment speaks to us as well, even when nobody else does. I know a lot of people, to include myself. My workspace dictates my energy. I'm very meticulous about how I want things to be when I walk in. I could tell when somebody is in my space, my whole aura changes. Because it's my space. Right? It messes, it messes with my mental, and then now my energy done shifted. My mindset is gonna be different. That that that five, ten minutes could change the outcome of an entire day. That's why your physical space matters. The jobs that we're going to is going to dictate how the rest of your day is. We've talked about it before. You know, when people talk about working nine to five and do the five to nine, we we all know how I feel about that. We don't take account of being life, traffic, all this other stuff. It's it's really 9 to 11. You know what I mean? If you're really thinking about it. If you're a parent, you you gotta put kids to bed, feed, all that other stuff, you know what I mean? This is why physical space matters. The the rooms that you're walking into, the jobs that you're accepting, does it align with your standards? Is it really just a stepping stone? And what is the end point to the means to the end? Because when you walk in there, are they taking your energy from you to the point so now when you leave that place, they done drained you so much. You don't have the mental cape, the mental capability, the physical ability, or or or the creative juices to do what you need to do for you. That's the trap. That's why if we don't set our standards early enough, we're when we're we're dealing with the environments that we put ourselves in because it's the means to an end, and we have real-world responsibilities that we're now we're not just tolerating or or compromising a little bit, we're compromising a lot. Because now you're gonna blink. Five years went by, 10 years went by, and now you done settled so much because you got used to or accustomed to this situation that you're like, I can't leave now. 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, dream, gone, erased because of the environment that you walked into, the way it consumes you, the way it affects your mindset, the way it drains you. Some of us, we walk into work environments or our spaces where it just makes us happy. Are you always gonna be happy in every situation? Guys, entrepreneurs are not always happy. Nine to fivers are not always happy, billionaires are not always happy, millionaires are not happy. We're human. But we could dictate a lot that happens along the way to keep a semilance of our happiness because we know oh, this is part of the goal. This is the standard, this still aligns with my standards. My I'm not I'm not being completely drained. It's just a bad day. I had a bad day. We could adjust from bad days, we can't adjust from bad years. We can't adjust putting ourselves in situations where it's so far away from our standards and our alignments that we're giving up on everything else that we said that we wanted. Our daily routines are now thrown off because you wake up in the morning dreading to go into this place that you want to be at, but knowing that, you know, I'm a hybrid, so I gotta get into entrepreneurial spirits, whatever. And entrepreneurs, guys, there's gonna be that that physical space that you're walking into is gonna mess with your mental, it's gonna, it's gonna break you down in ways that you never thought you were gonna be broken down. But your mindset and your daily routines and habits is what's going to save you on those bad days. Because it's gonna be a lot of bad days along this journey. You gotta ask yourself, what is my environment reinforcing in me every single day? Because that environment that you're in, it's quietly shaping your standards day in and day out. We can't avoid that. It whether it's a good environment or a bad environment, it is shaping our standards every single day. It's just shaping our daily routines. Our daily routines then become our habits, and it's gonna it's gonna it's gonna dictate how we consistently show up. When you combine your circle and your environment, there's something else that just shows up. Because at some point, you have to ask yourself, what am I going to continue to allow? Right? When our mindset is done shifted, when our environment is not where we really want it to be, and our circle is now, we're looking at our circle in a way where it's like, okay, how are we aligning with what I'm trying to do? You have to now sit and do that internal audit. What am I tolerating as I'm building this thing while I'm on this journey? You have to ask yourself that. I I I'm gonna I'm giving you the prompt question. What am I going to continue to allow? Because these patterns that are happening in our environments within our circles, that's giving us an attaboy, and they're not stretching us, they're actually settling us. These are repeated patterns that's now gonna create excuses for you. You know, when you get into attaboys and the adorations and all that stuff, you're doing great and all that, and this the standards kind of line, and you saying things like it's a means to an end, your daily routine done shifted. Now you're creating new patterns and habits for yourself. The excuses start to build up on why you're not, why you're not going on the journey that you said that you wanted to go through those years ago, the 90 days ago. You even stopped opening up the journal. You stopped opening up the book and the timelines and and going to the calendars and seeing how am I working towards my end goal, my end result. Some of us just lack boundaries along the way because our standards were never set. You know, I talk about time as one of our most expensive commodities. And some of us, we go into these nine of fives, we have to realize that they put a cap on what you're worth, what your time is worth, not what you're worth, what your time is worth. So set the boundaries. We allow the the work to consume us so much that we don't set boundaries because we're we we think that if we allow this to keep happening and we're chasing, we're gonna get the promotions, we're gonna get the the attaboys, we're gonna get all the all it's doing is you're setting a new standard and a new pattern. So now when they're reaching out at eight o'clock or on the weekends and all that stuff, you set that standard. They didn't. They told you it's from 9 to 5 or not 10 to 10 to 6, whatever the the cap was, but yet you now, I'm not saying don't work past that, but know what you're doing as you're doing it. If you're sending out emails at 8 o'clock at night, if you're taking phone calls on a Saturday for those that are not in industries that work on weekends, you set a standard. So now when they do it, you you didn't you didn't put no boundaries for them. So they can jump those boundaries because everybody's always gonna look to try to get more out of certain situations. I know I valued your time at this, but I'm gonna try to stretch it. Let me see if I could get a couple more, a couple more hours of your time for free. Because that's what it is, it's for free. You told me my value time is worth X for these hours. So why are you taking my other time and not compensating it for it? You're doing it for free. Because you didn't set no boundaries. I'm a firm believer in component. 430, I'm shutting it down. That's a tomorrow problem. Because I know I got other things I gotta start doing. And when I say 430, I'm shutting it down, it's because I want to wrap up and plan for the next day. Okay, these are the tasks that I need to get done based off of how today went. And then when I come in tomorrow, at the time that you guys told me that I need to be here, that's that's that's why it's a tomorrow problem. Because I need that time to decompress from what happened throughout the day. Because I'm setting my boundaries. That's a tomorrow problem. Nobody, I I'm from I say people all the time, I'm from the military. Decisions we made in the military, somebody can lose their life. Decision that we're making today is not life-threatening. That's a tomorrow problem. Because I have other goals and aspirations, and there's a means to an end. There is an end date. There is an end date. Because I set out and I know, okay, this is a stepping stone. I need this to in order to accomplish this along the way, because I'm I have responsibilities. I'm I'm not dumb. I'm gonna get out of my comfort zone and go do this, but then I know I need to shut it out this time because I have all this other stuff that gotta get done. I'm a parent, I'm a husband, I'm a brother, I'm a friend, I'm all this other stuff. So everything is pulling at me, but I know I still got this thing, so I got this dedicated time here. But what I'm not gonna be doing is at seven, eight o'clock dealing with your problems. Cause now I just gave you three free hours of my valuable time. I'm not gonna beat that dead horse because I don't want somebody walking to their job talking about that's a tomorrow problem after they done set some standards. If you set the standards, the standards are the standards. Now you gotta recreate new standards. Create your own new boundaries. It's gonna be hard because you already done gave them that lane where they could grab free hours out of you. And for those of us that are on salary, come on now. It's a ploy. Break down your salary on how many hours they told you that they hired you to do the work. Stop giving away free time. If you're on this journey to chase something else, now if you're in your your dream, career, and all that stuff, that this has nothing to do with you. You're happy. This is where you wanted to be. You're you're working on that next promotion. So that's part of your you're that the those extra hours that you're giving away is there's a goal to that. So I don't want you to think that there's differences to this. You're in the the path, you're in the career field that you wanted to be at. You're you're you're chasing after that promotion. That's your journey. So you're that giving those extra hours is just like the hybrid entrepreneur that goes home and now give those hours away. Or the entrepreneur that, you know, the store closed at this time, but they still up to midnight, one in the morning, because they have to do it. That's the career path that we chose. I'm not saying don't give away free hours, but know what you're giving the free hours to. And does it align with the standards that you set for yourself? Is it part of the journey? Is it part of the means to the end? I know I've tolerated some stuff along the way, but I've set my boundaries also. There's certain things in life we got to set boundaries to. We can't just go willy-nilly with it because that's how we're gonna get lost. It's already too chaotic as it is along in this journey for us to get lost along the way. So ask yourself today, what are you tolerating consistently? Because that's what's gonna become part of your permanent life. Giving away that free time, let me tell you, you start giving away now, before you know it, 20 years that went by and you did not get anything that you wanted to do for you. You're in you're in that job, not even your career. And once you start getting intentional about what you allow, you Who you're around and what your environment looks like, that's when the next level becomes even clearer. It's not about you anymore. It's about how you build with others. We've talked about this. It's not just a take, take, take situation. You have to be, you're giving away some things also. Because at some point you're building, your building is going to involve other people. There's no, I I say it all the time. I I don't believe in in self-made is just you by yourself. The self-made part is the vision that you designed. But along the way, you had to get people to come along with you. You chose those people. How you communicate and how you handle challenges is going to determine how far you're actually going to go on this journey. Who you're choosing to build with. Because not everybody is meant to build with you. Key line there. Not everybody is meant to build with build with you. Some people are there for just the beginning portion of it. That don't mean they're going to stay there forever. And you can't take it personal when they're ready to move on to go do their own things, also. Yes, you might have shared some values in the beginning. You had some sort of trust, but along this journey, something it stretched a little bit. This person's vision became something different for, and then y'all is just not aligning now. That's not a bad thing. In life, we there's this line that says, everybody comes into your life for a reason or a season. Not everybody's meant to stay forever. So why don't we operate this journey while we're on this journey? Why don't we just keep that same mindset? Not everybody on this journey is gonna fit the direction that you're going into. Some of them are there to just give you the gem that you need, some of them are there to just literally test you. Test to see how much you really want this thing. Test to see how much you're really gonna apply that pressure to get to where you're trying to get to. You can't be overconfident while you're in this thing, setting your standards in alignment. You're the group that you put around you while you're building this thing, whether it be within your circle or you bring an external help in, they might just be there for a reason or a season. Because in the beginning, a lot of people align with things, but when it gets hard, some people start to disappear on you, and it's okay. That's fine. Some people are there to sabotage. Because in the sabotage, we're gonna learn from that. I've I've been in situations where I tried to build something and align, and and and along the way, it started great, and along the way it started changing, and it didn't align with my standards. So do we continue to just keep tolerating the situation? Do we just keep doing the same things every day and creating new patterns, knowing that we're not happy with what's going on? It's not aligning with what we envision and all that stuff, or do you remove yourself out? Sometimes we just have to remove ourselves or remove other people. Are you building with people who align with what they say you're going? Or are you just going with people that are available to you, which is which is a massive pitfall? I think a lot of us sometimes it's it's you know, especially the the entrepreneurial route, you're you're trying to find the cheapest way to get this thing up and going. So you go and align yourself with people that are just available, but they don't fit. Or maybe they fit, but just for a brief period in time, and now you got to move on to the next. The right people don't just support your vision, they align with your vision. Keep that in mind while you're on this journey. They don't just support it, they align with it. If they are taking in this alignment that they're on, if they take it to heart just as much as you do, they're aligned with your vision. They see it clearly, just as you do. Those are the people that you want around you, and that doesn't mean they're gonna stay forever. They might outgrow you, you might outgrow them. The vision might have been as clear as day for this portion, but then it evolved into something else, and now it's going a different direction, and they don't feel as though that's the direction they want to go to, and that's okay. But you can't be so quick to just align yourself with the people because they're just around you. Sometimes you're just gonna have to go get the right people. Because the people that's around you, oh, LeBron is by far one of the best examples of this. Sometimes the people around you they need to go get educated first. Make sure that your people know that when they come back here, they're fully ready to go and capable to replace the people that's around me, and we're taking off with this thing. I'm not just gonna fucking hire you just because we're boys and we're friends and all that stuff. No, I want you part of this journey with me because I trust you already. But I need you to go out there, go learn this, go figure out this stuff, and then now bring it back. Let's take four years, four or five years. Let's everybody go learn their lanes, their crafts, and all that stuff, and then come back, and now we're gonna dominate this thing together. Keep it in-house, in family. Now, those are people that's not just supporting your vision. They align with it. And then now their vision is even clearer because they're aligned with your vision. Everybody's standing on their own, on their own. But we know what the machine is. The machine is here. That's the main vision. Keep the main thing, the main thing. Because we're all gonna eat, we're all gonna eat, and I'm not gonna say down here, we're all gonna eat. We're all eating. Because we're all moving, we're standing right here in lockstep with with the with the machine. And once you're building with the right people, you have to know how to communicate. Communication becomes everything you have to be able to tell. You think it's an easy thing to tell somebody that's within your circle? Like, yeah, I'm gonna go hire these folks because right now I don't feel as though you're ready. I need you to go out there and go show one, go show me that you really want this shit. Two, go get educated in it, go make your connections, go go build up your reputation, and then come back. You show me these things, then I'm rocking with you. Me, you to the end. And got five people winning. Boys, winning. Billion dollars, multi-million dollar deals, everybody in their own right, feeding the machine and feeding themselves. Because I didn't want to just put you on, I want you to go earn it at the same time. This is this is a business. We could be friends, we'll hang out. When I have free time, that's when I'll give you some some some of my time. But this thing that I'm chasing, this greatness that I'm chasing, I need only I need greatness around me. Because I had to focus on this part, so I need everybody around me to be focusing on the other parts. Because I know, I know, I define, I define what my legacy is a long time ago. I've been shaping it, I've been aligning it, I've been setting my standards. I put my boundaries on where I need to put my boundaries. I need my team to be out there doing what they need to do while I focus on the main thing that made this engine go. Greatest plan I've ever seen. Ho, same way. Built with built with people that was with around him in his inner circle. Some stages, some lasted, some didn't. But everybody made their own, stood on their own. But if we're not communicating, that's when things are gonna fall apart. Because things that things don't fall apart from lack of effort. They're gonna fall apart from lack of clarity. Clarity of the vision. It starts with you. What is the vision for them to align to for them to align with? Clear communication is gonna create the consistency that you need. Ask yourself when you're building this team and this circle around you, do I communicate clearly? Or do I understand, do I assume that people understand me? I walked into that situation not too long ago at the job. I had the big picture vision, and I just would say something, and then I started assuming that people understood what I was trying trying to get across. Wrong answer. It created way bigger problems and it broke down trust by assuming certain things. Now, as the one on top, the leader, you now gotta check your ego and be like, I fucked up here. I assumed that people understood what I was trying to get across. So now I gotta make the, I have to be more clear and concise because I can't hold, I can't hold it against y'all. I can't hold it against y'all. Because I assume that you understood this thing, and I I I I I I'm hoping and wishing that everybody has the same type of mentality and work ethic as me towards the vision that I'm trying to get across. No, wrong answer. That's not how leaders lead. That's not how you communicate. Clarity builds trust, assumptions is gonna break it every single time. And even with the right people and good communication, there's still gonna be moments that test everything under the sun. But what are you gonna do when that alignment gets tested? Because pressure reveals what alignment really looks like. When you're having these disagreements, when when you have different expectations that are now competing with each other in the stressful moments, are you are you able to do conflict resolution? Are you staying aligned when the when the pressure builds up? Because it's gonna build, it's gonna be chaotic. We've already established this. This journey is not gonna be easy. When things get difficult, do you lean into your communication skills or do you just pull back? Alignment isn't proven when things are easy, it's proven when when things are not, when they're chaotic as fuck. That's when you want to see the true leader step up, the alignment with the vision, the standards that you set. Went through a lot. Let's start to wrap this up. Because when you when you really look at everything we talked about today, it all comes back to something simple. Your life is not random, it's being shaped every single day by what you accept, what you repeat, and by how how you choose to show up day in and day out. We started with our standards. Understanding that it's not just about what you say you want, it's about what you allow. Because what you accept becomes your reality. Then we talked about how life, how about the life you're actually living. And being honest about the fact that your daily habits, your routines, your actions, those tell the story of who you really are. Because your life will always reflect what you repeat. Then we went even deeper into the situation, into what you become, what you're becoming through all of this, realizing every action, every decision, every pattern and shaping our identity in real time. That's why it's called a journey, guys. Then we stepped outside of that and looked at our circle, our environment, things that we're tolerating. The people that are around you dictate, probably dictate your life more than you dictate your life. What exposes you every single day? Whether it pushes you forward or it pulls you back, are we keeping exactly where we are? Staying the same, going with the status quo. It's a means to an end, using the same cliche lines to justify where you are right now. And then we went into what we're building with others. Understanding that not everybody is meant to build with you. But they're not. For a reason or a season, communication actually really matters. And that's the real, that's when the real alignment shows up. We cannot sit here and assume that people understand our vision. It's your vision. You see a clearest day. And even with you seeing a clearest day, we know that's going to evolve. So what makes you think that the people around you are not going to evolve along the way? And they might just be there for different phases of your vision. Then when you start to put all that together, you start to see the full picture. This isn't about one moment, it isn't about one decision. This is about the how you live every single day. So when you think about those questions that we talked about throughout this whole process, what are you allowing?

SPEAKER_00 57:03

If it doesn't fit with what you say that you're becoming, does your daily life actually reflect what you say that you want?

SPEAKER_01 57:11

Are the people around you actually helping you to grow, or are they helping you stay comfortable in the situation that you're in? When things get uncomfortable, are you leaning into the communication piece? Or are you just pulling back? But most importantly, who are you becoming through it all? Because here's the good part. Once you actually do become aware of it, you've removed your ego out of the situation, you did the self-reflections, and you started thinking about this, and you you asked the right questions, you can change it. That's the beauty of it all. You can change it, you can adjust your habits, you could change your environment, you could choose to communicate better. You can start to build something so so amazing, so dope that aligns with everything that you said that you wanted it to be. Because the life that you said that you want wasn't and isn't built someday. It's built now, and how you show up today. Now we have to do it now. It's not built someday. That wasn't the plan. It was never the plan. Our mindset, our habits, the way we communicate, the people that's around us, the environments that we place ourselves in. That's dictating it. That's dictating it. It's gonna dictate our routine, it's gonna dictate our mindset, it's gonna change the concept of how the whole day is gonna go. If this episode gave you something to think about, go ahead and subscribe to Dear Legacy. Drop a comment, follow us on social media. But most of all, share with somebody that's building a legacy in real time. It's your boy Kevin B the Brand, and I'll see y'all next week. Peace. Take this journey with me. Let's define it, let's build it, let's live it together.